When I am wrestling with hard things in my life, I am thankful that I know just who to call. My phone holds more than one number of a mentor or other kind of accountability partner who I know will have my back.
Accountability can come from multiple people and these people can serve in different ways. There is no perfect combination of accountability partners, but I find that God puts the right people in the right place in my life at just the right time.
The key to a good accountability partner is that they lovingly tell it like it is and are more concerned with giving you accurate and biblical responses than hurting your feelings. The key to being a good disciple is taking the time to pray through and digest their feedback.
Do you know who these people are in your life? If not, I hope the following will help you recognize those who are in your corner, OR, those you need to find to back you up.
Family
My go-to accountability partner is typically my husband, who holds me accountable spiritually, among other ways. But I’m also blessed to have supportive parents and in-laws. I feel especially blessed to receive great parenting advice from my mom, for example.
The hard thing about family is that they’re a permanent fixture in one’s life and sometimes can become the point of frustration. That’s why having other people in your life is so important. I need support from all sides.
Mentors
I’m very blessed to have an older woman in my life who has been mentoring me for many years. I met her when I was still single, but now offers great marriage and parenting advice. She’s mature in her faith and her marriage, and has children around my age.
God has been putting mentors like what I have into the lives of great leaders of the faith from the time of the early church. Jesus is a fantastic example of a mentor, though he was and is so much more than that. In fact, he commanded Christians for all time to be mentors, or to disciple others (Matthew 28:19-20). Paul took Jesus’s command to disciple others very seriously. He was a mentor to many evangelistic pioneers whom we read about in Acts and the epistles. He encouraged others to mentor, or disciple, others throughout the New Testament.
Not only should you seek out someone older and wiser to mentor you, you should also be intentional about finding someone younger than you to disciple. (See Titus 2:4-8)
Friends
Finding a good group of friends who can lift you up and encourage you in all areas of your life can be so life-giving. Finding this in my life took a long time. What really allowed this to happen for me is joining a good Bible teaching church. Getting truly connected in a church goes beyond showing up on Sundays, but also attending Bible studies and fellowship events. Then, getting phone numbers of people you meet with and going out for coffee or inviting their family over for dinner.
While I’ve had friends in my life, in the past few years I have, for the first time, come into a group of girl friends who really challenge me in my faith and encourage me in my marriage, as a mother, and in pursuing the things God is calling me to.
Therapists
While not everyone needs therapy, I urge everyone to try it at some point in their life. That said, I strongly advise anyone diagnosed with a mental illness to go to therapy on a regular basis, even on the good days. Don’t wait until you’re in crisis to have this support person in place!
Seeing a certified mental health therapist can help you talk through what is going on in your life and help you find coping mechanisms for the pain points.
While I encourage you to see a Christian therapist if possible, I’ve had success with a secular therapist as well. I found that while there was no indication that she aligned with my belief system, she respected my beliefs and encouraged me to hang onto them.
Having just one of these accountability partners in place is good, but if you can have all four, you are really set up for the best support in your daily life. Life is hard and can either draw us to Christ or divide us from his love. If you have people in your life directing you toward him in the difficult times, think about how much closer you will be to him in the good times. And if you are one with Christ in the good times, think about how well you are set up to be a good accountability partner to someone else who might need someone to support them.
Bethany Marinelli is an author and speaker out of Orlando, Florida. She also supports her husband, Andrew, in his auto repair business and homeschools their son, Arthur.
If you enjoyed this article, please subscribe to this blog below and get a new post in your inbox monthly!