When was the last time you experienced joy even though life was hard?
My world was crashing around me. My family was dealing with a really difficult and complicated situation that affected both our business and our family. On top of the extreme stress this caused us, our house flooded, producing a serious mold problem, so we were displaced from our home for four months. My son was two at the time, and I suddenly had to go back to work. I had a major breakdown, leading to a much delayed bipolar disorder diagnosis.
During this difficult time, God brought my attention to Psalm 126:5 (ESV), which says, “Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!” There were definitely plenty of tears, but I couldn’t figure out how they led to “shouts of joy.” As I meditated on this verse, instead of being comforted, I became angry. I just couldn’t understand how I could have joy in my current circumstances.
As I started healing from all I had been going through, I realized that joy is not a feeling, but rather a gift from God, given to us through the Holy Spirit. We must become intimate with God to learn how to utilize this gift, even when our life looks bleak.
How do we “count it all joy”?
A piece of scripture that I often meditate on when life gets hard comes from the book of James.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4 (ESV)
There’s that word, “joy” again! How can it be associated with “trials of various kinds”? The thing is, we’re not joyous because of the trial. We find joy in the “full effect” of the experience we are having. We need to look down the road to the “steadfastness,” or “patience,” the circumstance teaches us. This patience refines us and shapes us to be closer to Jesus. If we are in a perfect relationship with Jesus, we lack nothing.
How do we find that perfect relationship with Jesus? We allow the Holy Spirit to fill us up. We must give ourselves over to God to shape us like clay.
But now, O Lord, you are our Father;
we are the clay, and you are our potter;
we are all the work of your hand.
Isaiah 64:8 (ESV)
It’s in that surrender to God that the Spirit of God overflows through us and his gifts pour out of our life.
Is joy an emotion?
We often use “joy” as a synonym for “happiness,” but this is not the case.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23a (ESV)
Joy, then, is not an emotion. Joy is a gift of the Spirit. Emotions like happiness don’t always coincide with the gifts of the spirit. It’s possible to feel sorrow and yet experience joy at the same time.
Some years ago there was a woman named Michelle who came alongside me during a hard time in my life. She said something that later became the inspiration for the book for which I’m currently pursuing publication. She said, “Bethany, your brokenness is beautiful.” It took me many years to figure out she meant that leaning on Jesus in our brokenness is beautiful. Her influence on my life during that time was instrumental to my finding healing and the ability to move forward and use my scars from that trial to pour into others who were hurting.
Soon after she came into my life, Michelle was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. She fought hard but died from the illness. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, so it hit me extra hard when she passed. But I went to her celebration of life service and through my sadness I experienced great joy. I saw the number of people that were there celebrating her and realized the magnitude of her influence on other people like me. I had joy in knowing that she was with her Savior, whom she loved deeply. I cried tears of sorrow for her absence in my life but those same tears were tears of joy because of what she did for me and because I knew that she was with Jesus.
That is a big example, but God brings us joy in little ways, too. When we were dealing with the circumstances around my bipolar diagnosis and the house flood, joy came through everyday things that my son did. He was the joy that kept me going in a lot of ways. About a year after I was diagnosed, in the middle of a bipolar episode I was lying on the couch crying into the phone with my husband on the other side. My three-year-old asked, “Why are you sad, Mom-Mom?” I told him, “My brain is sick.” He ran into the kitchen, grabbed my medication and brought it to me. He said, “Here, Mom-Mom. This will make you better.” While the medication clearly wasn’t working at the time, the thoughtfulness of my young son brought me joy in the middle of a painful moment.
So, no, joy is not an emotion. It’s a gift from God given to us by the Holy Spirit that helps us get through the difficult times.
How do we truly experience joy in life’s trials?
The apostle, Paul, was especially gifted in finding joy in life’s trials. One of my favorite passages comes from his second letter to the Corinthians.
But [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV)
Joy comes in the contentment of our trials. When we look past the pain and realize that God’s love covers us with a healing hand of protection, we discover the source of our joy. The fact that Jesus died, knowing everything you would go through in your life, covered your sins, and rose again that you may have life and have it abundantly, can bring all the joy in the world.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
Psalm 139:15-16 (ESV)
God knows what pains you will experience. But he also knows that he will use that pain for something bigger in your life.
God used Paul in a big way, but he also brought Paul through many difficult circumstances in order to do it. In 2 Corinthians Paul basically shares a resume of his suffering up unto that point.
Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches.
2 Corinthians 11:24-28
Through all these hardships, Paul can relate to us in his brokenness. By connecting to us in this way, he earns our trust in following him to Jesus. Paul brought so much joy to so many people, not because he was happy that he went through these trials, but because God’s Spirit reigned in his life. He had joy because God gave him contentment in his “weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.” So many people came to faith in Jesus through his ministry to the early church and still, to this day, his writings lead people to Jesus daily!
When we continually walk in the Spirit, as Paul did, we experience joy. Not because of the emotional response to our situation, but through our faith in Christ and the ministry of his Holy Spirit in our lives.
Bethany Marinelli is an author and speaker out of Orlando, Florida. She also supports her husband, Andrew, in his auto repair business and homeschools her son, Arthur.
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