Lake ripples roll out a lullaby of childhood memories. Full of life, waves sweep me up in their motion. “Shlip, shlip, gulp, shlap” sings the song of my youth. The dinging of the masts in the sleepy marina ring out a melody of memories gone by.
Author Archives: bamarinelli
Rebuilding My Life After Sheer Destruction
I wrongly assumed that the rebuilding had to do only with the physical – our business, our finances, the physical needs of our family, our community, my mental health. The physical, yes. But that’s only a small part of it. First the spiritual. If the spiritual isn’t built up, then the strength for the physical is not. It’s all rooted in the spiritual.
Fasting Current Events
Presidential elections, racial injustice, killer virus, and on and on and on. Everywhere you turn, it’s there. It’s a flyer hanging on your door with someone smiling. Usually a man. Usually white. Many times surrounded by a beautiful wife and two or three darling children in well coordinated clothing. Maybe even matching. Maybe even aContinue reading “Fasting Current Events”
Grieving My Scars
I’m grieving my scars
Both inside and out
I’m grieving the losses
That created self doubt
…
Scars are physical, mental, and emotional. It’s ok to grieve them.
Centering On Peace Amidst Tension
It’s been extremely difficult for me to follow the news and watch the political climate of our country unfold over the past three months. Yes, there have been so many hardships and so we’re all becoming news weary. It’s all been very emotional. Unfortunately, because my mental health has been poor to begin with, I am unable to handle emotions very well. The emotional energy needed to sort through current events and various opinions and viewpoints have worn me down. I know that I’m not the only one.
Hurting People Hurt People: Part 3 – Recovery
My manic-depressive cycles spread my moods all over like a strong wind blows sand in patterned deposits next to a turbulent sea. Except I haven’t figured out the pattern so that I can flow with it, embrace it, and control it. I’m seeking recovery, but the journey is long, arduous, and leaves me parched, longing for stability in soft ever drifting sand.
Hurting People Hurt People: Part 2 – Mean Girl
Receiving a diagnosis of manic-depression in 2019 has flipped my world upside down. Again. If it’s not one crisis, it’s another. My life is a continual cycle of moods rising up into uncontrollable energy, peaking in a fight or flight rampage, and then a hard crash into depression. Now to address the hurt. The fight or flight impulses. The mean girl.
Hurting People Hurt People: Part 1 – “Cycling”
Hurting people hurt people. It’s a saying I hear a lot and have said as many times when someone has done something hurtful to me or someone else. This is a phrase I have always applied to someone else. I love Jesus and follow him daily. I wouldn’t hurt anyone!
The Enduring Leader
A lot of who I am today is because of the belief, values, and characteristics Coach Inglis instilled in me in my 4 years under his coaching. God puts people in your life for a reason. Hold onto those who have made the biggest difference in your life. Tell them!
My Journey in Writing…And Why It Matters To Anyone
The next day I brought my poem to school and something novel happened for my 8 year old self in 1991 where computers were just something you had a class for about 30 minutes per week. My teacher typed up my poem, put a floral border on it, and there it came through her dot-matrix printer. I was so excited. To see MY words on a piece of PRINTED paper! I took pink, blue, purple and green markers and neatly colored the flowers. I rifle through my parent’s basement every time I visit them (which isn’t often these days). Every time I come up empty handed and every time my heart breaks a little more for that lost paper which held my first significant piece of writing in a long journey of growing love for the craft.