The pressure on my chest from the stress was physically painful. The medication my psychiatrist prescribed had me living in a fog. I could barely keep my eyes open.
Author Archives: bamarinelli
Survival Mode
For many people, 2020 was the beginning of a season of crisis. It seems like it’s never going to end. You’ve cancelled weddings, lost jobs, lost loved ones, had COVID, been in isolation among other things. I grieve with you.
Beautifully Broken
I had the skewed idea that since I was a Christian, my sins washed clean by the blood of Christ, I should always appear completely whole. I believed my insides should always be overflowing with praise to God for His Goodness, my outsides should continually exude Christ’s joy.
When Prayer Isn’t Enough
Screams escaped me like a steaming kettle. There was no way to turn down the burner, no hand to pull it off of the heat. My mom was at a loss as to how to help me. She showed me my face in a mirror but I didn’t recognize that girl.
Fighting Anger
Our society is currently filled with a lot of anger due to a conglomeration of current events. Anger seeps into conversation like the serpent snuck into the garden of Eden. Anger destroys relationships. Anger destroys people. I’ve struggled with anger my whole life. It builds up quickly and overtakes my rational mind like the flick of a match.
Momma’s Boy
Our bond was interrupted completely. On day four of being Arthur’s mother I was rushed to the hospital. It was life or death as doctors and nurses hovered over me. Testing. Evaluating. Talking in concerned voices. Emergency life saving surgery and 19 days in and out of ICU due to severe septicemia.
The Mind of Anxiety
The other day I started a fire in my house. I simply just wasn’t thinking. Later that night I was lying in bed thinking of how dumb I was to do what I did. I started imagining if there really was a fire at night. I thought about all the ways it could go wrong.
Called to be Steadfast
I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. I do believe, however, there is value in going into a new year with purpose.
For Better, For Worse
As we said our vows on December 30th, 2011, we meant it. It’s idyllic. We had typical newlywed expectations that, over time, changed as reality set in. It’s one thing to say the vows, it’s another thing to live them.
Running From My Idol
The bulletin board in my bedroom glistened with neat rows of race medals meticulously labeled. My identity displayed above where I slept. Thanks be to God for this gift!