The past year has been one trial after another. Through each up and down, I’ve sought after God for answers through which He’s spoken different truths into my life. I don’t like to use my blog as a public journal but it is a portal through which I process these lessons and I find healing in that whatever I’m going through I know there’s at least one other person out there who can relate. My hope is that my ongoing journey to the Father will help propel others to His Kingdom.
Even so, with all the difficult times I’ve found myself in of late, I procrastinate sharing these hardships with you. I envision coming to a resolution and tying up the lessons I’ve learned along the way with a pretty red bow. The reality is, I haven’t encountered any pretty red bows thus far as I continue to trudge through the challenges in my life – the waiting, the depression, the uncertainty. They follow me around like Asia’s smog problem, preventing any true clarity from appearing through the cloud. So how do I deal?
My life has been in a transitional stage for the past three years…three years which have seemed like 30. I’ve been waiting on God’s bold declaration saying, “Here’s the course I’m taking you through, turn here!” I know I’m going in the right direction, I just have very little idea where it’s leading me. IContinue reading “Lessons on Waiting from King David and George Muller”
Since my blog post about my struggle with depression and circumstantial infertility, I’ve had many people reach out to me. Several are either in similar circumstances or have struggled with infertility in the past (either circumstantial or biological). Some were in the opposite position – became parents before they were ready. Others resonated with myContinue reading “Am I Alone? Part 3 – Friends Struggling with Depression”
The past couple months have been some of the most challenging since I had a major bout of depression 6 years ago. Thankfully, my depression hasn’t gotten as bad as it was six years ago, but living with depression, no matter how severe, is always rough. Over the years, I’ve discovered some ways that helpContinue reading “How I Get Out of Bed in the Midst of Depression”
The internal war wages in my soul at a fast and unending pace. My mind spins at a dizzying intensity. Conflicted. “Go faster!…No! Slow down!” The war is in all of us. For some, you’re blissfully in the eye of the storm. For others, we’re living in the heat of it. Clattering. Blowing. Banging. ThisContinue reading “Time: Friend or Enemy?”
Many people who know him do not know that my husband, Andrew, is a very talented musician. In 2007 he graduated with a degree in music education. Though piano is his primary instrument, he picked up the clarinet in college and considered pursuing a master’s degree in clarinet performance. Then one day he walked intoContinue reading “When the Future Seems Unclear”
Is it ok for a Christian to sit in a spiritual desert? That time in a believer’s life when one feels distant from God no matter how hard he seeks him, the spiritual desert, is a term that’s often thrown around but not often addressed. It doesn’t feel good to be there but is itContinue reading “Desert Wilderness”
Confession. I have intimately conversed with suicidal thoughts on multiple occasions. If you have read my previous posts discussing my struggle with depression or had any kind of deep conversation with me, this may not come as a shock to you. I tell you in light of Isaac Hunter’s death to explain that it isContinue reading “Confession”
Dear Friends of Summit Church, In the past year we’ve been through a lot. We’ve watched our lead pastor, Isaac Hunter, leave the church after committing adultery. We’ve cried out in horror when the media had a hay-day with his sin, putting not only him but also his wife, children, parents, and us in aContinue reading “Conflicted”