While the phrase “hit rock bottom” has become a bit cliche in our culture, I find it a rather accurate description of my experience with depression. I most definitely hit my rock bottom seven years ago. My depression became so severe I pictured myself as a helpless child curled up in fetal position in theContinue reading “Receiving Help at Rock Bottom and Preventing the Fall”
Be patient. Wait. Put one foot in front of the other, and be led blindly down the right path. Trust. Have faith. This has been the theme of my life for the past three years. Then God began to show me a glimmer of the sun rising in the horizon, and yet, I find myself doubting. It’s been so long since I’ve had a true glimmer of hope that I wonder, “For me? Really? Are you sure?” because I’m used to trudging on, one foot at a time sinking into the murky soft ground, requiring each step to be calculated lest I fall. A moving vehicle on solid ground helping me get closer to my dreams is so foreign to me, so I look around and wonder, “Is that really for me?”
The past year has been one trial after another. Through each up and down, I’ve sought after God for answers through which He’s spoken different truths into my life. I don’t like to use my blog as a public journal but it is a portal through which I process these lessons and I find healing in that whatever I’m going through I know there’s at least one other person out there who can relate. My hope is that my ongoing journey to the Father will help propel others to His Kingdom.
Even so, with all the difficult times I’ve found myself in of late, I procrastinate sharing these hardships with you. I envision coming to a resolution and tying up the lessons I’ve learned along the way with a pretty red bow. The reality is, I haven’t encountered any pretty red bows thus far as I continue to trudge through the challenges in my life – the waiting, the depression, the uncertainty. They follow me around like Asia’s smog problem, preventing any true clarity from appearing through the cloud. So how do I deal?
My life has been in a transitional stage for the past three years…three years which have seemed like 30. I’ve been waiting on God’s bold declaration saying, “Here’s the course I’m taking you through, turn here!” I know I’m going in the right direction, I just have very little idea where it’s leading me. IContinue reading “Lessons on Waiting from King David and George Muller”
Since my blog post about my struggle with depression and circumstantial infertility, I’ve had many people reach out to me. Several are either in similar circumstances or have struggled with infertility in the past (either circumstantial or biological). Some were in the opposite position – became parents before they were ready. Others resonated with myContinue reading “Am I Alone? Part 2 – Friends Who Became Moms Before Me”
Since my last blog post about my struggle with depression and circumstantial infertility, I’ve had many people reach out to me. Several are either in similar circumstances or have struggled with infertility in the past (either circumstantial or biological). Some were in the opposite position – became parents before they were ready. Others resonated withContinue reading “Am I Alone? Part 1 – Friends Waiting to Be a Mom”
As a little girl I imagined marrying an business man, much like my father. As a college student I was sure I’d marry a man doing full-time Christian ministry or a missionary. Instead, I married a mechanic. Even more to my surprise, my husband’s profession has become a part of my own identity, just as much as my own job has.
Our lives are full of decisions. As a follower of Christ, I’ve learned to make decisions based on where God calls me rather than what satisfies me for the moment. Over the years I’ve learned a lot about God’s plan for my life and it hasn’t turned out much like I thought it would. IContinue reading “Why Waiting on God is Better than Doing it Ourselves”
Is the power of positive thinking enough to overcome circumstances? This is a question I’ve been pondering over the past several months as I drive around Orlando, Florida. The reason I’ve been pondering this question so deeply is that I keep seeing this bumper sticker–if you live in Orlando, you’ve likely seen it too– “IfContinue reading “If Anything Can Go Well, Will It?”
Is it ok for a Christian to sit in a spiritual desert? That time in a believer’s life when one feels distant from God no matter how hard he seeks him, the spiritual desert, is a term that’s often thrown around but not often addressed. It doesn’t feel good to be there but is itContinue reading “Desert Wilderness”