This week a madman spread destruction through a gay nightclub just a few miles from where I live; close enough that I could picture the location and its surroundings exactly. Facebook asked me to let people know if I was ok. My doctor’s office, right next door, sent out notification that all appointments are cancelled until further notice. I used to work just around the corner. That hit a little too close to home.
Category Archives: Knowing God
Doubt: Sin or Path to Righteousness?
Be patient. Wait. Put one foot in front of the other, and be led blindly down the right path. Trust. Have faith. This has been the theme of my life for the past three years. Then God began to show me a glimmer of the sun rising in the horizon, and yet, I find myself doubting. It’s been so long since I’ve had a true glimmer of hope that I wonder, “For me? Really? Are you sure?” because I’m used to trudging on, one foot at a time sinking into the murky soft ground, requiring each step to be calculated lest I fall. A moving vehicle on solid ground helping me get closer to my dreams is so foreign to me, so I look around and wonder, “Is that really for me?”
Am I Lacking Faith?
The past year has been one trial after another. Through each up and down, I’ve sought after God for answers through which He’s spoken different truths into my life. I don’t like to use my blog as a public journal but it is a portal through which I process these lessons and I find healing in that whatever I’m going through I know there’s at least one other person out there who can relate. My hope is that my ongoing journey to the Father will help propel others to His Kingdom.
Even so, with all the difficult times I’ve found myself in of late, I procrastinate sharing these hardships with you. I envision coming to a resolution and tying up the lessons I’ve learned along the way with a pretty red bow. The reality is, I haven’t encountered any pretty red bows thus far as I continue to trudge through the challenges in my life – the waiting, the depression, the uncertainty. They follow me around like Asia’s smog problem, preventing any true clarity from appearing through the cloud. So how do I deal?
When the Future Seems Unclear
Many people who know him do not know that my husband, Andrew, is a very talented musician. In 2007 he graduated with a degree in music education. Though piano is his primary instrument, he picked up the clarinet in college and considered pursuing a master’s degree in clarinet performance. Then one day he walked intoContinue reading “When the Future Seems Unclear”
Why Waiting on God is Better than Doing it Ourselves
Our lives are full of decisions. As a follower of Christ, I’ve learned to make decisions based on where God calls me rather than what satisfies me for the moment. Over the years I’ve learned a lot about God’s plan for my life and it hasn’t turned out much like I thought it would. IContinue reading “Why Waiting on God is Better than Doing it Ourselves”
If Anything Can Go Well, Will It?
Is the power of positive thinking enough to overcome circumstances? This is a question I’ve been pondering over the past several months as I drive around Orlando, Florida. The reason I’ve been pondering this question so deeply is that I keep seeing this bumper sticker–if you live in Orlando, you’ve likely seen it too– “IfContinue reading “If Anything Can Go Well, Will It?”
Is 10% Enough?
Many Christians believe that being a good steward is only being wise in one’s finances and giving a tithe of 10% of their income to the church. I’ve come to understand stewardship to be so much more in the way God has been working in my life recently. What is Biblical Stewardship? Biblical stewardship isContinue reading “Is 10% Enough?”
Desert Wilderness
Is it ok for a Christian to sit in a spiritual desert? That time in a believer’s life when one feels distant from God no matter how hard he seeks him, the spiritual desert, is a term that’s often thrown around but not often addressed. It doesn’t feel good to be there but is itContinue reading “Desert Wilderness”
Confession
Confession. I have intimately conversed with suicidal thoughts on multiple occasions. If you have read my previous posts discussing my struggle with depression or had any kind of deep conversation with me, this may not come as a shock to you. I tell you in light of Isaac Hunter’s death to explain that it isContinue reading “Confession”
Disappointment
I’ve recently faced a disappointment which led to what seems to be a dead-end that presents itself as another disappointment. The obvious question running through my mind is “now what?” Without really directing it to God, He responds, “wait.” So, here’s how the conversation goes: Me: Now what? God: Wait. Me: I wasn’t talking toContinue reading “Disappointment”
The Journey to My Father's Kingdom 