Blog – Page 2 – The Journey to My Father's Kingdom

Is it Okay to Ask, “Why God?”

“Why God?,” you cry out in anguish when your world seems like it’s crashing down around you. The question is one that I believe everyone has asked at least once in their life. Even those who don’t even have a relationship with God will look towards a greater being and ask, “Why?” I believe it’s a question that originates with sin. All the way back to the Garden of Eden, mankind has been questioning God. But is it a sin to ask the question itself?

The real question needs to be your heart’s motivation in asking, “Why God?” Are you doubting God’s goodness or are you looking for purpose in the pain?

Satan is the instigator of doubt. Eve was the first to doubt God when the snake caused her to question his word.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”
Genesis 3:1 (ESV)

Eve gave into doubt and her doubt spread to Adam who also ate of the forbidden fruit. The root of doubt is sin. So, asking, “Why God?” in the spirit of doubting God’s goodness, is a sin.

However, if your question, “Why God?” is motivated by your heart searching for the purpose of your pain, that’s a whole other issue entirely. God wants you to be intimate with him and express your innermost concerns. He wants you to dialogue with him about everything going on in your life. Many righteous people in the Bible asked God why he was allowing them to endure pain.

Job

“Why did I not die at birth,

    come out from the womb and expire?

Why did the knees receive me?

    Or why the breasts, that I should nurse?

For then I would have lain down and been quiet;

    I would have slept; then I would have been at rest,

with kings and counselors of the earth

    who rebuilt ruins for themselves,

or with princes who had gold,

    who filled their houses with silver.

Or why was I not as a hidden stillborn child,

    as infants who never see the light?

“Why is light given to him who is in misery,

    and life to the bitter in soul,

who long for death, but it comes not,

    and dig for it more than for hidden treasures,

who rejoice exceedingly

    and are glad when they find the grave?

Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden,

    whom God has hedged in?”
Job 3:11-16, 20-23 (ESV)

In these verses, Job is not questioning God’s goodness. He is asking God what the purpose of his life is. He’s literally asking, “God, why was I born?” After all of his laments, Job expresses his understanding of God’s purpose for his life.

Then Job answered the Lord and said:

“I know that you can do all things,

    and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,

    things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

‘Hear, and I will speak;

    I will question you, and you make it known to me.’

I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,

    but now my eye sees you;

therefore I despise myself,

    and repent in dust and ashes.”
Job 42: 1-6

Job asked, “Why God?,” and he received his answer. His pain drew him nearer to God and he came out the other side knowing God all that much more intimately. He knew that God was with him in his struggle.

Then God restores Job’s fortunes, and “the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning.” (Job 42:12 ESV)

David

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,

and by night, but I find no rest.
Psalm 22:1-2 (ESV)

David is crying out to God, asking him why he has not answered his prayers for rescue. The fact is, God answers each of our prayers. He can either say, “Yes,” “No,” or “Not yet.” In this circumstance, the answer is “Not yet.” But when you’re living out the not yet, our natural response is “Why not?,” especially if we’re suffering.

David, while often lamenting his circumstances in the psalms, is seen by God as a righteous man. David always turned around and praised God in the same psalm where he cries out to God.

David was, as part of God’s plan, a forefather in the lineage of the messiah, who would in his earthly life be called, “Son of David.” The fact is, while David may have been praying these verses for himself, this psalm is prophetic of Jesus’ death on the cross.

Jesus

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Matthew 27:46 (ESV)

I’ve always found this a difficult passage to wrap my mind around. Is Jesus doubting God’s plan here? Absolutely not. The fact is, for a moment, God has forsaken Jesus. He has allowed him to join humanity to its fullest, experiencing excruciating pain in a sentence he did not deserve. He was not doubting God, but crying to God for help. For the first time since his infancy, Jesus was utterly helpless.

God wants us to cry out to him for help. He knows that we are completely helpless without him. Even when we try to do something in our own strength, we come out the other side powerless.

Trusting God’s Plan

When we cry out to God with a heart of searching for answers and pleading for his help, we can do so unashamedly and with righteousness. Sin enters the picture only when we doubt God’s plan. God calls us to have faith in him and his perfect plan.

Psalm 139 brings me great comfort when I begin to doubt God’s plans. David says,

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

    you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

    and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

    and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

    it is high; I cannot attain it.
Psalm 139:1-6 (ESV)

Who better to make plans for our lives, than the one who knows us more intimately than anyone that ever existed, even our own selves? And he made those plans far before we ever existed.

For you formed my inward parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

    my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

    the days that were formed for me,

    when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV)

That we might understand the depth of God’s understanding of who we are and what his plan is for our lives and trust him to lead us day by day, moment by moment!

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!
Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV)

God wants us to have pure faith in his plan for our lives. The moment we doubt is the moment we break free from our relationship with him. When our eyes are not on him, Satan grabs our attention, and sneaks in doubt.

Is there a better question?

While “Why?” is a perfectly valid question and one God is happy for us to ask him, I believe there is a better question. Rather than dwelling on the why of the moment, we should instead ask, “What now?” Asking, “Why?” doesn’t get us very far. It risks our trust in him and gives way to doubt. I’m not saying it always goes that way, but dwelling on the “Why?” increases the risk that we will slide easily from “What is your purpose in this?” to “Where is your goodness in this?” When asking “Why?” I believe that moving directly into “What now?” allows us to find something productive to do with the pain. The “Why?” becomes irrelevant when finding something productive to do with the trial becomes prevalent.

The “What now?” could mean finding a counselor and using this difficult time as an opportunity to work on your mental health. Or it could mean gently confronting the person that is hurting you and engaging in a Matthew 18 model of conflict resolution. Or, it could mean standing up for others who are similarly being put in a difficult situation. God does not allow something hard to happen to us so we can sit and wallow in it. He wants us to stand up and do something with it. He doesn’t want us to be stagnant, rather he wants us to come to him and engage with it. When we do that, the “Why” gets answered pretty clearly. When we take part in the hardship we are living, and we trust God to see us through it, we come to find purpose in the adversity.

Go ahead and ask God, “Why?,” but then do the next thing and ask, “What now?”

Bethany Marinelli is an author and speaker out of Orlando, Florida. She also supports her husband, Andrew, in his auto repair business and homeschools her son, Arthur.

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How to “Be of Good Cheer” in the Darkest Days

How would you like it, if in one of your darkest moments, someone sat next to you and said, “Be of good cheer!” Yeah, me too. I think I would give them a look that said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I’m having a really hard time and you’re telling me, “Be of good cheer?”

Jesus says this exact thing to five people. In fact, these are the only five times this word, tharseō (thar-seh’-o)—meaning to take heart, have courage, or be of good cheer–is used in the Bible. Being Jesus, it was the exact right thing to say to each of these people and I’m going to show you why.

A Biblical Perspective on Holistic Wellness

The worst year of my life was probably 2019. I went through a lot of really hard things that year, and was ultimately diagnosed with bipolar disorder. By the beginning of 2020, I was 40 pounds overweight, was distant from God, and in the worst mental condition I had ever been. I was in the mess of a trifecta of unwellness and exhausted from a series of trials and a mental breakdown. Aside from nearly dying, I was in my worst overall health I had ever been.

When we think about our health, we often focus on the physical. But Jesus’ ministry was also about the mental and the spiritual. Yes, he healed illnesses–both physical and mental, but he also cast out demons and challenged people to grow in their faith in God. The Bible makes it clear that we were designed to have a sound mind.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

So, what does wellness look like in a Biblical perspective?

Is My Mental Illness to Blame?

Guest post by Katie R. Dale

There is much gray area to this topic, in my opinion. In mental illness, we get a lot of things mixed up and turned upside down. Who, or what, is to blame when a symptom influences my thinking and leads me into sin? Is my disorder at fault? Or am I?

What is the Best Church for Me?

Getting asked not to return to church really stung. I had done nothing wrong. The pastor chose to believe the lies of another person in the church over me. It didn’t matter that I had physical proof of the truth. I was given an ultimatum and I chose the door.

It wasn’t the first time I had been let down by a church, but it was the one that hurt the most. It took me three years to get over that hurt. To be honest, it still stings a little.

I’ve been going to a church for about three years now, but it took about a year and a half before I finally felt like I could call Calvary Chapel of Orlando home. For a long time I just went to Sunday services and occupied a seat. Slowly I got more involved and started to make friends. Now I feel like I’m a part of the community.

Breaking up with a church and finding a new one is a process that can be painful. Maybe you’re looking for a new church because you’ve moved. Maybe you just don’t feel connected to the church you are going to and feel led to move on. Or maybe, like me, you’ve been hurt and you need a place to lick your wounds and learn to trust again. How do you start over? What do you look for in a church?

Surrendering Dreams

When I got married, like most people, I had a lot of dreams about what my life would look like. In many ways my expectations went beyond just dreams; they were plans. Like many of life’s plans, mine have not worked out.

For one, I cannot have any more biological children. I’ve grieved this reality for a long time. My six-year-old son, Arthur William, is all I have. I try to cherish my time with him because he’s the only biological child I’ll ever have. I’ve struggled greatly with separation anxiety with him. We were separated for three weeks after he was born because I was critically ill in the hospital and I still grieve that lost time. I wrestle regularly with the thought of him dying even though there’s no real reason for me to worry. A little girl in his Sunday school class recently passed away very unexpectedly. Losing my child is my worst nightmare and that event has hit me really hard. What if I lose my only child?

Watching “The Chosen” with Discernment

I get really excited each week a new episode is available for season three of The Chosen. I really enjoyed and was encouraged by the first two seasons of this television series that reenacts Jesus’s life and ministry and the life and ministry of his disciples. Season three is proving no different. I have watched the episodes of this whole series multiple times. I know I’m not alone.

The week of Thanksgiving, the first two episodes of season three debuted in theaters, opening in the top three among secular films. Approximately 108 million people have seen at least part of The Chosen. People are being born again because of their exposure to this series. How many of these people would be unwilling to walk into a church but are willing to watch a video? The impact of The Chosen is amazing! However, I think it’s imperative that we all watch this series with caution. The show feels so real that it can be difficult to separate the imaginative from the facts. (For example, we know that Matthew was a tax collector but we don’t have background details of his family and there isn’t any biblical evidence that he was autistic.)

How to Find Forgiveness

I’ve been hurt by a lot of people. Sin is a reality in this world, no one is immune, so people hurt people. This truth doesn’t reduce the pain. A betrayal by a best friend. Being mistreated by a family member. People going back on their word. Gossip. I’ve had to do a lot of soul searching when it comes to forgiveness.

I’ve recently experienced being hurt by someone that was a part of my family’s daily life. Out of the blue, trust was broken and we’re reaping the consequences on a daily basis, and will be for some time. To make matters worse, they are mad at me and my family when the broken trust was their choice. In the days after this incident I realized that I needed to forgive this person, but it wasn’t easy.

Check Your Heart: A Call to Repentance

As I cleared debris from the yard, cool air on my skin and warm sun on my face was a huge change from just a few days before. Hurricane Ian ravaged a hot muggy Florida and left us with beautiful weather. However, taking a closer look, one has to remember that the tempests did blow and all is not right in the world.

When Speaking Truth, Don’t Forget the Love

Lately I’ve seen a lot of social media posts that speak truth, but in a really harsh and ugly way. Rather than lean in and engage with their words, I get the urge to fight them in the comments…even if I agree with their point.

One lady wrote in all caps, something to the effect of, “WOMEN CALLED TO BE PASTORS ARE DECEIVED BY SATAN AND LIVING IN SIN!” My immediate urge was to write some fighting words in the comments but thought better of it. I then stopped and thought, “That post is not going to draw anyone closer to Jesus, so whether I agree with her or not, my comments aren’t going to help the matter.”

Another lady posted that if your pastor didn’t stand up and say something about Roe vs Wade the Sunday after the law was overturned, that’s a huge red flag and you should reconsider attending that church. I commented something like, “My pastor didn’t mention it, but I don’t think he needed to. The church is very involved with supporting a Christian pro-life womens clinic and I know that the congregation was all celebrating. I think you need to reevaluate your statement.” The reply to my comment began, “WRONG!!!…” and I was then completely torn down. Is this how we are taught to treat one another?

What happens when we speak the truth but forget the love? We miss the chance to glorify God. Believers are drawn away from him and nonbelievers turn their backs completely.

Healing Scripture for the Unsound Mind

My brain was sick. That’s how I explained it to my then 2 ½ year old. The medical descriptions in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM-5) doesn’t thoroughly describe the hurricane that was raging beneath my skull. I was in my worst episode of my newly diagnosed bipolar disorder. I couldn’t function, and yet I had to. My son needed his mom and Andrew needed his wife. Andrew’s and my business needed me. I was as depleted as a person could be. I wanted to die.

Just a few months before, the pastor from the church we were attending asked me to leave. That’s a long story, but the point is that I was without my mind and without a church. My spiritual community was fractured and so was my spirit. I knew I needed something to ground me to the truth. I didn’t have the wherewithal to get there on my own.

Is God Punishing Me?

A friend of mine came to me a few months ago and asked me to pray for her toddler son who was recently diagnosed with a devastating illness. “I think God hates me. I feel like I’m being punished or cursed. I don’t understand.”

She’s not alone.

“Is God punishing me? Is this a curse from God?” are questions one often asks themselves when facing a hard situation. Since 2017 I’ve dealt with one crisis after another. I’ve had people tell me that my life should be made into a movie because of all I’ve been through (I’m not sure I want to see that movie). As I write this I’m in another season of crisis. I’m struggling with my bipolar disorder, I’m in conflict with someone I love, and I’m being sued for speaking up for people who are being hurt. Wondering if I’m cursed might be a natural response, but knowing the truth in God’s word, I know this is not the case.

How the Disciples Missed Jesus’s Purpose and Power

Have you ever had an intimate relationship with someone only to find out they were not who you thought they were? Or maybe you had a certain expectation of someone and things didn’t transpire the way you expected it. You might have in mind someone who disappointed you but the same could be true for someone who surprised you in a good way.

And then there’s Jesus. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like I was walking in step with Jesus, only to have my life change in an unexpected way. “This isn’t how it was supposed to go!” I cry.

The twelve disciples walked intimately with Jesus during his three year ministry. They saw it all and knew Jesus more deeply than anyone. And yet, they still missed out on who he really was!

How the Pharisees Missed their Messiah

Are you drowning in the details of life? Maybe it’s time to step back and see the bigger picture. So often, we miss when God is working in our lives. We’re so bogged down in the details that we fail to step back and see the bigger picture. This is especially true when our life doesn’t look like we expected. We fail to step outside of ourselves and see the divine intervention of God. We look back later on and see that it was staring straight into our face. “How did I not see that?” we marvel. Well, you aren’t the only one.

Over the past year, my church’s women’s Bible study has been digging through the gospel of Matthew. Verse by verse, we’ve examined God’s Word at multiple angles. We’ve marveled at how Jesus worked in the lives around him. Jesus overcame Satan’s temptation. Jesus taught mind boggling truths. Jesus healed the sick and cast out demons. Jesus raised the dead. Jesus foretold what was to come; both in his time on earth and his second coming. Throughout scripture we see that the religious leaders (Pharisees, Sadducees, Herodians and scribes) and Jesus’s disciples missed what God was doing and would do through Jesus.

What I Do When I Want to Die

My knuckles were white on the steering wheel, arms ridged, as I forced myself to drive in a straight line going 75mph in the busy I-4 traffic.

Breathe, I reminded myself.

Don’t do it, the Holy Spirit warned.

Arthur is in the backseat. Protect him. My maternal instincts called to me.

I just wanted my life to be over. I wanted to erase the pain that festered deep down into my soul. If I swerved in front of a vehicle on my left at just the right angle, maybe I could end it all. At least I would feel a pain different from the pain I was feeling.

Do Not Be Anxious About Tomorrow

As I look forward to 2022, I find myself anxious and distressed. For the past few years, I have done what a lot of people do in place of resolutions in that I ask God to show me a word and Bible verse to focus on for the year. In the weeks leading up to the new year, and a few weeks after, I struggled to find that word. I was beginning to think maybe I just didn’t have a word for this year.

Giving Thanks When You Don’t Feel Thankful

You’re not sure if you can face your family this year. You’re grieving the empty seat at the table. You or a family member is very ill. Your marriage is struggling. You’ve just had a breakup. You’re struggling with infertility. You’ve lost your job. You’re deep in debt. You can barely afford the turkey on the table. The list goes on. What is there really to be thankful for?

The Truth About My Exorcism

On a beautiful Ohio summer day in 2008 I nervously chatted with my friend as we drove to the house of a couple she knew. Though I had been prepared as to what to expect, I was uneasy. I was grateful for her help and desperate to try anything to free my mind of the racing anxious thoughts, reactionary temper, constant feeling of dread, and overall lack of peace in my life.

That spring this same friend, with a couple of others–all older more seasoned believers than I–had led me through the Seven Steps to Freedom from Neil T. Anderson’s book, The Bondage Breaker. These steps include a process of confessing sin, forgiving those who have wronged you, recognizing lies you’re telling yourself, and combating those lies with truth. Doing these things, the book claims, would grant you freedom in Jesus Christ.

Growing Intimate With God Through Prayer Journaling

What if you could see God answer your prayers right before your eyes? How would it change your view of God if you could go back and reflect on how he’s moved in your life?

That is why I started prayer journaling.

What Does the Bible Say About Mental Illness? Part 3

For over a decade I lived thinking I suffered internal anguish because I just didn’t have enough faith in the power of prayer. However, in 2009 I sank into a deep depression and finally got to a breaking point. I was working with high school girls through CRU, formerly Campus Crusade for Christ–an international ministry focused on evangelism and discipleship. My director sat down with me and kindly explained that I was in no state to be mentoring young women. I needed to step away from field ministry and seek healing.

He was right. And for the first time I was broken enough to face myself and accept help. I was desperate.

It was the end of the school year and I was scheduled to spend the summer taking seminary classes with fellow staff members followed by the biannual all-staff conference. Two women were appointed to come alongside me in my darkness over that summer. As the summer went on I was encouraged to seek medical help and to find a Christian counselor.

After years of struggle, I finally found my way out of my depression and reconciled my brokenness before the Lord. I was freed from thinking I needed to be the perfect Christian to be happy and drew closer to the Lord.

In Part 1 of this series I discussed what the Bible says about illness and how mental illness plays into that, pointing to King David and Job as examples. Part 2 covers the distinction between mental health and mental illness, explaining how the Bible uses the word “anxiety” as an example. Here I will explore how to give and get help for mental illness.

What Does the Bible Say About Mental Illness? Part 2

“You are a success!” my psychiatrist exclaimed. “You are a success and I don’t see that very often.”

My mental health hasn’t been this good in a very long time. Apparently this is uncommon for a manic-depressive compounded with an anxiety disorder.

“Mental health” is a common phrase used in our society. Like our physical health and spiritual health, our mental health is an important aspect of our well-being. However, a distinction should be made between “mental health,” and “mental illness.” Caring for our mental health is not the same as treating a mental illness. Caring for our mental health includes things like getting enough sleep, taking breaks throughout your day, and surrounding yourself with a supportive community. Caring for a mental illness means having a psychiatrist to prescribe and monitor your medication, meeting with a therapist, and having positive coping strategies.

Bipolar, or manic-depression, is a complex illness requiring multiple medications. Lithium, the most prescribed drug for my illness, presented severe side effects. I asked to be taken off of Lithium. While many psychiatrists wouldn’t consider this, I was so thankful that she listened to me and found an alternative. After many months, we found the right combination and dosages of medication and I have my life back.

In Part 1, I suggested King David and Job may have had circumstantial mental illnesses. For other people, mental illness is a chronic condition. The Bible, while not specifically naming mental illnesses, does provide circumstantial evidence of mental illness based on literal translations of the Greek and Hebrew vocabulary. We know that Jesus welcomed all and healed all who came to him. Including the mentally ill.

Now we’re going to talk about the difference between “mental health” and “mental illness.”

What Does the Bible Say About Mental Illness? Part 1

Nothing.

The Bible says nothing about mental illness. It also says nothing about cancer. Or heart disease. Or alzheimers. The Bible rarely calls out specific illnesses. Death from illness is mentioned, but not the cause.

Back then, people didn’t know what we now know about illnesses because they didn’t have the technological advances we have today. In fact, we’re still discovering “new” illnesses and causes of illness.

Why does it even matter what illnesses are in the Bible? For example, what illnesses does Jesus heal? Illness is illness and Jesus performed countless miracles and healed so many. Imagine hundreds of people gathered around Jesus waiting for their chance to be healed! I can’t even begin to envision what that was like. One third of Jesus’ ministry was healing, so it matters greatly that Jesus healed, but it matters little what he was healing.

Social Anxiety in a Pandemic

I walked into the grocery store with a bare face. I felt everyone staring at me as I searched for other maskless people to make sure I wasn’t the only one. I was surprised at the relief I felt to be rid of my mask, but also self-conscious after being required to wear one for over a year.

Being fully vaccinated and the mask mandate lifted, I am no longer required to wear a mask in most places. Freedom. There is nothing political in my viewpoint about masks. This is about my social anxiety disorder.

Anxiety Triggers

I’m in it. My chest is caving in on my lungs. My head is spinning. Every time I close my eyes I see the gruesome sight and then my mind rushes into a fury of terror. My blood rushes hot through my body. My breathing becomes rapid. Then chills run down my arms like lizards running across sidewalks on a muggy Florida afternoon. It’s summer and I’m sitting here with a sweater on.