How to Take Mental Health Days

Are you burnt out from your busy schedule? Are you having a hard time maintaining focus on the tasks at hand? Do you struggle to have motivation to go from one thing to the next? These are just a few signs of many that you may need a mental health day. According to Harvard HealthContinue reading “How to Take Mental Health Days”

When Life Feels Hopeless, But God…

I woke up in the ICU trapped by tubes and wires coming out of my mouth and limbs. My arms were strapped down to the bed. I couldn’t process what was happening. Someone somewhere had my days old baby. Where was he? I struggled against the straps, but my husband leaned down over me toContinue reading “When Life Feels Hopeless, But God…”

How to “Be of Good Cheer” in the Darkest Days

How would you like it, if in one of your darkest moments, someone sat next to you and said, “Be of good cheer!” Yeah, me too. I think I would give them a look that said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I’m having a really hard time and you’re telling me, “Be of goodContinue reading “How to “Be of Good Cheer” in the Darkest Days”

For Better, For Worse

As we said our vows on December 30th, 2011, we meant it. It’s idyllic. We had typical newlywed expectations that, over time, changed as reality set in. It’s one thing to say the vows, it’s another thing to live them.

Finding My Sacred Space

Constant life transitions, depression, and apathy have stolen my consistency in my time spent before Jesus’ feet over a few years. I just couldn’t seem to get it together. Then, a series of events and the influence of three women finally helped me get back on that path in a way that only God could have ordained.

Receiving Help at Rock Bottom and Preventing the Fall

While the phrase “hit rock bottom” has become a bit cliche in our culture, I find it a rather accurate description of my experience with depression. I most definitely hit my rock bottom seven years ago. My depression became so severe I pictured myself as a helpless child curled up in fetal position in theContinue reading “Receiving Help at Rock Bottom and Preventing the Fall”

Saying Goodbye with Joy and Tears

Many people are posting memories and notes of encouragement and love on Facebook to a dear friend of mine who is dying of cancer. Each and every one of them touch me deeply. Many make me choke up with a strong combination of joy and tears as I identify with their sentiments. I quickly realized a Facebook post just wouldn’t cut it. Michelle Beckman made too much of an impact on my life to be summed up in a few sentences on a Facebook post. So, instead, I decided to write a letter to her, here, on my blog. I hope this letter is an encouragement to you, even if you never knew Michelle, because of the great truths she showed me along the way.

Doubt: Sin or Path to Righteousness?

Be patient. Wait. Put one foot in front of the other, and be led blindly down the right path. Trust. Have faith. This has been the theme of my life for the past three years. Then God began to show me a glimmer of the sun rising in the horizon, and yet, I find myself doubting. It’s been so long since I’ve had a true glimmer of hope that I wonder, “For me? Really? Are you sure?” because I’m used to trudging on, one foot at a time sinking into the murky soft ground, requiring each step to be calculated lest I fall. A moving vehicle on solid ground helping me get closer to my dreams is so foreign to me, so I look around and wonder, “Is that really for me?”

The Shy Extrovert: My Journey with Agoraphobia

At church with my family, I had my first encounter. I’m not sure if this particular incident triggered the fear or if it was simply the first time having experienced it. I was only four years old, after all. I believe it was Christmas Eve. After the service, holding one of my parents’ hands, IContinue reading “The Shy Extrovert: My Journey with Agoraphobia”

Am I Lacking Faith?

The past year has been one trial after another. Through each up and down, I’ve sought after God for answers through which He’s spoken different truths into my life. I don’t like to use my blog as a public journal but it is a portal through which I process these lessons and I find healing in that whatever I’m going through I know there’s at least one other person out there who can relate. My hope is that my ongoing journey to the Father will help propel others to His Kingdom.

Even so, with all the difficult times I’ve found myself in of late, I procrastinate sharing these hardships with you. I envision coming to a resolution and tying up the lessons I’ve learned along the way with a pretty red bow. The reality is, I haven’t encountered any pretty red bows thus far as I continue to trudge through the challenges in my life – the waiting, the depression, the uncertainty. They follow me around like Asia’s smog problem, preventing any true clarity from appearing through the cloud. So how do I deal?

Lessons on Waiting from King David and George Muller

My life has been in a transitional stage for the past three years…three years which have seemed like 30. I’ve been waiting on God’s bold declaration saying, “Here’s the course I’m taking you through, turn here!” I know I’m going in the right direction, I just have very little idea where it’s leading me. IContinue reading “Lessons on Waiting from King David and George Muller”

Am I Alone? Part 3 – Friends Struggling with Depression

Since my blog post about my struggle with depression and circumstantial infertility, I’ve had many people reach out to me. Several are either in similar circumstances or have struggled with infertility in the past (either circumstantial or biological). Some were in the opposite position – became parents before they were ready. Others resonated with myContinue reading “Am I Alone? Part 3 – Friends Struggling with Depression”

Am I Alone? Part 2 – Friends Who Became Moms Before Me

Since my blog post about my struggle with depression and circumstantial infertility, I’ve had many people reach out to me. Several are either in similar circumstances or have struggled with infertility in the past (either circumstantial or biological). Some were in the opposite position – became parents before they were ready. Others resonated with myContinue reading “Am I Alone? Part 2 – Friends Who Became Moms Before Me”

Am I Alone? Part 1 – Friends Waiting to Be a Mom

Since my last blog post about my struggle with depression and circumstantial infertility, I’ve had many people reach out to me. Several are either in similar circumstances or have struggled with infertility in the past (either circumstantial or biological). Some were in the opposite position – became parents before they were ready. Others resonated withContinue reading “Am I Alone? Part 1 – Friends Waiting to Be a Mom”

How I Get Out of Bed in the Midst of Depression

The past couple months have been some of the most challenging since I had a major bout of depression 6 years ago. Thankfully, my depression hasn’t gotten as bad as it was six years ago, but living with depression, no matter how severe, is always rough. Over the years, I’ve discovered some ways that helpContinue reading “How I Get Out of Bed in the Midst of Depression”

Time: Friend or Enemy?

The internal war wages in my soul at a fast and unending pace. My mind spins at a dizzying intensity. Conflicted. “Go faster!…No! Slow down!” The war is in all of us. For some, you’re blissfully in the eye of the storm. For others, we’re living in the heat of it. Clattering. Blowing. Banging. ThisContinue reading “Time: Friend or Enemy?”