When Life Feels Hopeless, But God…

I woke up in the ICU trapped by tubes and wires coming out of my mouth and limbs. My arms were strapped down to the bed. I couldn’t process what was happening. Someone somewhere had my days old baby. Where was he? I struggled against the straps, but my husband leaned down over me toContinue reading “When Life Feels Hopeless, But God…”

Is it Okay to Ask, “Why God?”

“Why God?,” you cry out in anguish when your world seems like it’s crashing down around you. The question is one that I believe everyone has asked at least once in their life. Even those who don’t even have a relationship with God will look towards a greater being and ask, “Why?” I believe it’sContinue reading “Is it Okay to Ask, “Why God?””

How to “Be of Good Cheer” in the Darkest Days

How would you like it, if in one of your darkest moments, someone sat next to you and said, “Be of good cheer!” Yeah, me too. I think I would give them a look that said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I’m having a really hard time and you’re telling me, “Be of goodContinue reading “How to “Be of Good Cheer” in the Darkest Days”

What I Do When I Want to Die

Being that wanting to die is a normal thing for me, I’ve found some things that have helped get me through and keep myself alive. Sharing these feelings with the world is a very raw thing, but I believe that what I have to say will help someone with suicidal thoughts or they will help a family member or friend of someone who is suicidal.

Growing Intimate With God Through Prayer Journaling

What if you could see God answer your prayers right before your eyes? How would it change your view of God if you could go back and reflect on how he’s moved in your life?

That is why I started prayer journaling.

When Christian Leaders Sin

The church we used to attend has been through a lot. Several years ago there was a scandal after a pastor admitted to having an affair with another staff member. It was a difficult thing for this large church to navigate. It was plastered all over the news. A few months later that pastor committedContinue reading “When Christian Leaders Sin”

Is She Really A Strong Woman?

I’ve heard a lot of women who have experienced a health crisis, for example, say, “I’m not strong. I’m sick and I didn’t ask to be.” When my first crisis hit – a health crisis – I suddenly knew exactly what they meant.

Rebuilding My Life After Sheer Destruction

I wrongly assumed that the rebuilding had to do only with the physical – our business, our finances, the physical needs of our family, our community, my mental health. The physical, yes. But that’s only a small part of it. First the spiritual. If the spiritual isn’t built up, then the strength for the physical is not. It’s all rooted in the spiritual.

Centering On Peace Amidst Tension

It’s been extremely difficult for me to follow the news and watch the political climate of our country unfold over the past three months. Yes, there have been so many hardships and so we’re all becoming news weary. It’s all been very emotional. Unfortunately, because my mental health has been poor to begin with, I am unable to handle emotions very well. The emotional energy needed to sort through current events and various opinions and viewpoints have worn me down. I know that I’m not the only one.

The Virtuous Woman Manages Her Life

My life has had so many moving parts lately, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going, awake or asleep. Between my marriage, motherhood, our family business, housekeeping, and many other responsibilities, it’s so easy to feel vanquished. “I’m not enough!” is a phrase I often cry out in defeat at the end of the day. After being overwhelmed by this feeling time and again, I was lead to study Proverbs 31 and found that the thematic difference between the Virtuous Woman (whom I’ve named Aretha) and myself is that she knows she’s enough. Everyone in her life having their place gives her the ability to have everything in a productive order.

What It’s Like to Have an Anxiety Attack and Still Believe in God

Like a gigantic ocean wave washing over a small child, you don’t know which way is up but you need to breathe, you need to think. Or not think. Or…find the ocean floor to rest your heavy body or the open sky to finally catch your breath.

He Makes All Things New

I remember my baby’s first smile like it was yesterday. He was not quite a month old and I had just come in from walking him in his stroller and as I bent down to pick him up he gave me a bright eyed, ear to ear grin that said, “Thank you for being my mom. I’m so happy to see you!” and it brought tears streaming down my cheeks. “Thank you!” I cried, “I needed that!” You see, these tears did not just come from a postpartum hormonal new mom…

Preparing A Place

I don’t think I ever fully understood the depth of John 14:1-4 until just recently. I grew up with this unrealistic view that heaven was for everyone and everyone will eventually end up there. Maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t end up in heaven if they were really bad; I mean really really bad. But, for the most part, the gate was wide open.

It Could Be Me, But I Will Not Fear

This week a madman spread destruction through a gay nightclub just a few miles from where I live; close enough that I could picture the location and its surroundings exactly. Facebook asked me to let people know if I was ok. My doctor’s office, right next door, sent out notification that all appointments are cancelled until further notice. I used to work just around the corner. That hit a little too close to home.